Thursday, November 6, 2014

A little later

It's been a long time.
I think I have been a little foolish and a little down. That I have no good reason for the latter would encourage my feelings of being foolish.
One of my foolishnesses I am quite pleased with. I am ENRAGED by energy costs, and they do appear to have been a swindle. It costs me $300+ just to have gas connected to my house. It is only for heating. I'm inclined to think that if I  operated like them, I would charge them rent for the space their meter takes up on my land. In any case, I decided to trim their profits by not using my heating this winter. And I didn't. And yes, it was often very cold. And I accept that walking around one's house in ugh boots, scarf, mittens, rug swathed is not normal or efficient. Wearing pyjumpers and fleecy trackpants to bed is not normal, ( although cosy). But I felt triumphant once winter finished.
I wrote quite a lot. Some of it is ok. Faye, Fred and Susannah are young (30s) readers, they are enthusiasts who know me, thus partisan. An outside editor says some is superb, but. But.  But doesn't play well when you are a bit down.
Like many of my years, I was herded into the academic stream. Loathed or bored by much of it - latin, chemistry ...Is it a stretch to say that, like many of my years, I had no concept ever of being able to determine my own life?
Occasionally, in my middle years, I toyed with the other. Hearing my mother and friend saying that they would have loved to paint, but had never done it because they knew they couldn't, sent me off to the $2 a pop art class so that I, who also knew that she couldn't, could say that at least I tried.  The litttle girl on my name is one effort. I rather like her.

My pig, above, was not such a happy outcome. I went to a pottery class where everyone else knew what they were doing. I didn't, so the teacher set me to coil. Coil I did, until it had grown huge and something had to be done with it. I turned it into quite a large pig. It's flaws are obvious. the teacup is there for scale. I like it, too.

I have been reading other blogs. Not commenting is perhaps a sign of being down, I am also aware that it also fails to give support. I apologise.
Relatively Retirings  post about the Severn Bore  intrigued me. I had never heard of this phenomenum before: it seemed rich with meanings and myth. Myths of ancient gods striving for dominance, and the moon godddess each day saving the river from the ocean's might. Fables as to how the steady persistence of the river defied the oceans  mighty power. Why didn't I comment?
Who knows why some stop contacting, meeting, interacting, responding? Enjoying food? Memories? Music? Gossip? Media? Discussions, arguments or any exchange of ideas?  That's when things are down for you. For me, for a while.


Elephant's Child said...

And I LOVE your pig. A beast of charm. And the determination he exemplifies.
I find being down without a discernable reason the hardest to get over. Look after yourself and take all the time you need. We will be here when are ready.

Relatively Retiring said...

I'm so sorry that you're feeling low and completely agree with E.C.
I also find your pig charming and characterful.
Thank you for your response to my Boring post. I think you got even more out of the experience than I did. It's fascinating that this is a twice daily event but only becomes a boiling battle at certain times. Just like life, I suppose!

R.H. said...

Me, Myself, RH, wasn't, isn't, known for being considerate to others, but I felt I was getting a bit stale. The lady Copperwitch wore it for years, and I am sorry. And appreciative.

I do like the pig; I like pigs in general. And I like your prose. I've said that before.

Frances said...

Thank you both so much for your supportive, heartening comments.